Just trying this app out...

So far so good, although I would like to be able to type in landscape mode... Other than that it's not too bad.... Gonna just post this too see what it does and how it actually works...would hate to do it to something I didn't want to lose and it nit work correctly and than have my deepest thought lost in cyberspace somewhere..... So...it it goes...gonna push done...

Missions to Ecuador October 2009

I went to Ecuador on a missions trip this October. First missions trip, surely will not be my last. I really enjoyed getting to know the people I went with, and the people we were there to serve. I did not go with any expectations, attempting to keep an open mind and just soak it all in. I am not sure what I was expecting to happen, but it was not at all what I thought.
I guess everyone always seems to come back and talk about such trips as life changing experiences, and although I'll never forget this trip, I can't really it was so "life changing". Than again, I have to take into account, I tend to not be very emotional when it comes to such things, whether right or wrong, it just is, and so perhaps I have been changed, in ways I am yet unsure of. I did have the divine opportunity to meet some really amazing people and experience things of another culture, so very different from my own.
I meet a young women whom I believe is a God-send to my life. She is simply wonderful, and although it is hard for me to let someone to discover the real me, she has the key. I believe it is because she was sent to me by God, an answer to tearful prayers for a like-minded girlfriend to share life and memories with. Marcela, I pray you know how much you mean to me. I pray our friendship continues to grow as it did those days in Ventanas, and that we end up having a lifetime of memories to share. I find it a little comical we had to go all the way to Ecuador to find each other, when we live in the same town! Thank you for your friendship!
Little Donahi....she was such a sweet girl. She became my resident photographer, and she did a great job too! I'd go back just to see her if nothing else. The language barrier bothered her none, she continued to chatter away as though I understood every word! She even gave me ecology lessons, which once I caught on to what she was doing, I thoroughly enjoyed! I think I may have to find a way to get her a camera for Christmas....and work harder on my Spanish so we can hold an actual conversation without an interpreter.
Valeria, all I can say is why did I wait to the last day to really talk to you. Your English is better than my Spanish by far, so we managed to talk easily about ourselves, finding out that we very similar ideas. It is so amazing to me that we can live so very far apart, in totally different countries, yet have some similar mindsets. The only explanation is God. He is simply amazing and obviously at work across the world.
Which I guess, would have to be something that really made me ponder. The significance of God and the fact that yes, there really is an entire world out there that the Almighty God, Himself is at work amidst. To find people in another country that have the same beliefs, values, and desires as you, is simply proof that God not only exists, but is alive and working amongst His people.
Mrs Nancy...I have not the words to accurately pay her honor. She is the sweetest women with a personality as big as her heart! She is vivacious and full of life and just someone who you get addicted to. The more I was with her the more I wanted to be around her. She is full of stories, the kind that make life worth living. She has lived a full live and now plans on beginning a new chapter and living her life to a new level of full. For a women in her 70's she's well on her way to living another 70!
Jay, what can I say, if not for meeting you I never would have had the opportunity to go and serve and meet these amazing people. You, yourself are pretty amazing too. It is rare these days to meet a man who is sold out for Jesus and loving live. My life has changed for the better since meeting you, and I am happy to say I am glad our lives crossed paths. I have enjoyed becoming your friend. Whether you know it or not, you have challenged me to be better, a better friend, a better christian, a better person. In many ways you have unknowingly (at least I think) corrected me, causing me to step back and evaluate where I stand! Thank you for your honesty, your humility, your humor, and your friendship. You mean the world to me, I hope you realise that!
Well, I did not start writing this with the intentions of mentioning something about the people in each picture, but I suppose it is what needed to be said, or at least it is what is in my heart currently. Looking back, I think this trip did change me, it gave me a greater appreciation for that which I have and so very often take for granted. I have been so blessed in so many ways. I realised something while talking late one night with Marcela...the greatest difference between our two cultures, that of America and most of Latin America is priorities. America has such self-serving priorities. Our goals are success in all realms of live, which in and of themselves is not bad nor evil, yet there comes a point to which one much evaluate their actual importance. Latin American priorities are relationships. Whether family or friends, that is their main goal. To make and maintain relationships. As I watched the people of Ecuador I witnessed many times over people stopping along their daily journey to talk to a friend, a relative, or even a stranger (whom didn't remain a stranger, but became a new friend). It seemed to not matter where or what they had been journeying to do, they would stop and catch up on life. The hospitality of the people was breath taking at times. They would invite us in, complete strangers from another country, to sit and talk in their living room. At times offering us food or drink. How many here in America, would be so open, so caring, so hospitable, that you would open your door for a complete stranger, one that doesn't even speak your language, and take time from your busy schedule to sit and talk. Let alone sit and talk about Jesus! Over and over again I was amazed at their generosity.
The other thing I am slightly embarrassed to admit I realised was how much in my daily life I had come to rely on myself instead of God. Here, in America, "I" can handle things, I can speak to whom ever I need to speak to, go where ever I need to go, and basically provided for myself whatever I may need. There, in Ecuador, I needed God. I needed Him to know where to go, and who to speak to, and what to say. I had to rely on Him completely, not just in word, but in actual action. I suppose I have thought I was relying on God, when in all actuality I have been relying on myself. It was frightening to realise that without relying on God alone I would be lost. It was also refreshing when I knew I could....I could forget myself and give it to Him. Relying on Him to keep me safe, and healthy, and able to share to a people I knew little about. In doing so I think I grew, at least I hope I did or the experience was a loss.
The two ladies I shared Jesus with, both excepted and said the salvation prayer....I believe there was a change of heart there, but it is just a little hard for me. I know we are to go and share the word, but are we not called to go and make disciples.....it is a new concept to me to just share the truth of the gospel with someone, have them believe, say the salvation prayer, and than walk away. I have been in church all of my life, and so anyone I have ever seen saved were in church, and either stayed or never came back.....I suppose that is an area where I need to grow. Learn to understand just what it means to go and share the gospel, harvesting the fields, than trusting that someone else will come tend to the crops. In all honesty, I do not believe I have ever shared the gospel, in that sense before. I have taught the children about Jesus and shared His story, but I have never witnessed to someone and then said the salvation prayer with them.... I have taught children for the past 10-12 years and have never once led someone through to salvation....I have always taught the saved I guess. Wow, I am not sure what to think about that. It is actually kind of sad, but at the same time, I think that is my calling. I think I have been called to teach the "churched" not the lost. Not that I would not do it, but my heart is in church ministry, not evangelism or missionary work. I enjoyed it, but I feel as though I am indifferent to it as well.
I am not sure I have really processed all that has transpired these past few days. I really tried to just take it all in and in some ways I think I am still a little overwhelmed. I am not sure exactly what I was to learn from this trip, I suppose I need to pray about that some more. I really want to take away from this experience all that I can, for who knows when I'll have another chance to change someone else's life by giving up a little bit of my own.

IDK I’m just gonna type and see what happens????

This is from my MySpace page. I posted it on April 12 of this year. I'm working on getting everything linked and switched to this...so bear with me please =)

Well I haven't written anything here in quite some time...not sure why, it's surely not from not having anything to write, I just haven't....
A lot has been going on in my life lately, changes, some good some not so nice and all for my good (at least eventually) I hope.
Most of you know, at least those close to me anyway, that before new years I fell and broke my kneecap...not so nice let me tell ya, I don't recommend having it on your list of things to do....and that marked the beginning of a journey not only of physical healing but spiritual as well.

God's been doing a lot in my heart and mind, rearranging a lot of things, showing me things about me that are rather ugly to say the least, yet all the while holding me close to His heart. It has been a heart wrenching, painful journey of inner reflection and "house cleaning" you could say. Yet all the while never being more than I could bear.

I am in awe at how loving, forgiving, unconditional, and compassionately God's mercy and love have been, in complete balance with his judgment, correction, and chastisement. I still marvel at the fact that though all this muck and mire that I've dragged Him though He still CHOOSES to chase after me...holding me...drawing me....wooing me back into His embrace, back into the safety of His great arms.

For reasons only completely understood by Him, He marked me, set me apart, and refuses to let me go (or get away with anything). I am so forever grateful to Him. It is beyond my human reasoning as to why me, why does He chase after me so, what is it that makes me so important to Him that He does this, and not just once, but many times over the past 2-3 years. I have wrestled with this time and time again and my only conclusion...because He loves ME and HE has a PLAN for my life that is way beyond what I can fathom.

It says in the Bible that even if I chose to make my very bed in hell He would still yet be there with me. Saying that no matter where you go, God is going to follow you and attempt all He can to get you to see your sin and turn from it. And know what, it doesn't have to be what we consider "big" sin either. It can be little things. Things that are seemingly harmless or not even noticeable until revealed by Him. I am beginning to think that the little things are more dangerous than the big things are.

Through all of this, I've had to re-evaluate some things in my life and make some adjustments. He's brought me face to face with my convictions and my lack of passion to stand behind them...hence hypocrisy at its best. What am I doing teaching one standard yet living by another, while attempting to uphold the appearance of the other? Fighting a battle raging within between body and spirit, one knowing what is right and the other attempting to ignore and or justify the wrong doing as "well maybe this is what I'm supposed to do". Bringing in another ugliness with that I came face to face with...pride...it's only a small 5 letter word but oh, the trouble that it can cause. You see the problem with pride is just that, it is little, it's really just a one-letter word, a word we say all the time, "I". Oh, the impact that one little word can have on our entire lives. Pride's plan of attack is simple, come in under radar, slide it quietly and unnoticed and than once planted, grow, grow, grow....its like kudzu, for those in the south you have a better understanding of this and the results of its seemingly harmless blooms. You see, kudzu is a flowering vine, not ugly or apparently harmful at first, but soon, left untended and it will overtake everything else. We have ravines here that are completely overtaken by it, during spring/summer you can see nothing but this vine, it overtakes everything in its path....trees, hillsides, buildings, poles, wires...it doesn't care, it will wrap itself around anything, eventually completely covering that which it is growing on and even changing its appearance. The tree that it is on, dads says eventually it will kill the tree, becoming like a leech or tumor, draining all the life from the tree for itself. And that's what pride does. It sneaks up on us, coming in as a small apparently insignificant decision of self, trailed by more little decisions, until eventually it's a twisted vine of decision after decision that leads you down a spiraling road that leads to spiritual death.
It doesn't take long for it to overtake you, and in my case it was subtle, nothing that would cause alarm in anyone, just decisions made, thoughts thought, actions committed, and plans made all for and by ME, Myself, and I. Without general concern for, or really consulting anyone, let alone God. I mean, I was praying and asking and believing...but I forgot the vital steps...waiting and listening...another flaw...impatience, or really just weariness in waiting is more like it.
You see this day and age is a disservice to us at times. We are so used to and programmed to expect everything immediately, right now, when we ask for it. Everything is better the faster we can get it from food, to the internet, to ATMs. We learn to expect a response or result the minute we pose the question. You see the problem with this though is that is not how God works. God is not on our demanding, fast paced, I needed that yesterday world. He is not controlled nor confined to time as we are and so He seems to us to always "take forever" or is "always late" when in reality He is always right on time, it is us who are impatient in our waiting for His perfected timing.

The irony of it all is we usually know this yet still become impatient, irritated, or start believing it is our fault. Thinking, maybe we're not doing something right, not saying something right, not in the right place, or a million other "reasons" or "excuses" our mind may attempt to rationalize the fact that we are standing here, still waiting on something we believe we should have already received. And that, that's when pride sees its opportunity to sneak in unrecognized as itself, under the cover of "I think this is what I should do" or whatever other "I" excuse it can find to ride in under the radar on. And once in, and operating, it has gained all the access it needs to continue its creeping journey of overtaking its host.

You see, that's what happened in my life anyway. I've found myself circling the same mountains and ruts over and over again. Trudging away at what I pretended was a great life, don't get me wrong, at times it was, but always knowing inside that "it's gotta be better than this", "there has got to be a better way", "I've seen this all before". Wondering when I was going to finally get on a new path.

From the book "Her Hand In Marriage" by Douglas Wilson

This is an excerpt from a book I read on relationships/courtship/dating and I thought I'd share it. If only all of us were taught to value our gift like this.

The Garden

As my horse trotted wearily up the road, I could see the walls of a beautiful garden ahead. Outside the gate was an equally beautiful woman. At the sound of my greeting, she turned and dropped a curtsy. "Good sir...good morning."

I looked at her, and then at the garden walls extending out to the right and left. Behind her was the garden gate.

I said, "I am very thirsty...for something clean."

She smiled, and her smile made me even thirstier. But still she said nothing.

"Is there water here?" I asked.

"There is a steam within my garden." Her statement was simply a statement of fact; there was no invitation at all in it.

I asked, "May I come in and drink?"

"No," she said. "The lord of my mother's garden does not permit that."

"Why is this? Other women have let me drink from the gardens that they tend." I glanced at the fruit-laden branches which were visible over the top of the garden wall. "You have a lovely garden, but those who let me drink had gardens just as beautiful."

She laughed at this, and her laugh was merry indeed.

"I have no doubt that you have been in some lovely gardens. But was the water clean?"

"No," I said, and in spite of myself, turned my head and looked down. She continued with a question. "Is that why you are no longer in the gardens tended by these women?"

I was ashamed so I did not answer her. Instead I looked past her into the garden. The path through the gate disappeared after a few feet, leaving the view of anyone on the road.

"It seams like a shame for such a garden to go to waste."

She seemed both puzzled and amused. "How does it go to waste?"

"Does any man drink from your stream?"

"No, but no man fouls it either."

"But is that not a waste? Was not your stream made to quench the thirst of travelers?"

"I'm afraid you are seriously mistaken. It was made to quench the thirst, not of travelers, but of the lord of the garden."

"Oh," I said, "This garden has a lord?"

"No," she said.

"Then I don't understand. Are you speaking in riddles?"

She smiled, "No I am not. The garden will one day have a lord, although it does not yet. The stream is for him alone."

"And who will your lord be?"

"When my mother's lord gives a blessing, the one whom I appoint."

"How can the lesser appoint the greater?"

"How can it not be so? When my lord comes, I will grant him my garden. But until I do, he is just another traveler."

"And what do you look for? I am sure there are many who knock at your gate?"

At this she blushed slightly but looked straight at me. "I will not have a lord who does not have a lord himself-my lord must have taken an oath of fealty to the Landlord."

"The Landlord? Who is he?"

"He is the owner of all the gardens along this road. In order to come into my garden, my lord must take an oath before the Landlord to tend the garden well. He must also swear that he will enter no other garden."

I had never heard such words as these before. "How long must he stay out of other gardens?"

"Forever."

"But what if he is born to travel?"

"Then he is not born for my garden."

"I see," I said, becoming a little angry. "Then why have I never heard of such an oath? I have been in many gardens."

"Yes, you said that before. But was the water clean? Were the gardens tended? That is what happens when there is no oath."

"So that is all? If someone takes an oath before this Landlord, you will make him your lord?"

"No."

"Well, what else then?"

"There are many men who think they can tend my garden well, and who would be willing to swear an oath before the Landlord saying so. But that does not mean that my mother's lord, or I, share their confidence."

"What do you mean?"

" I mean that I know the extent of the garden. I have a knowledge of it that cannot be gained from the road. But no man can share that knowledge until after I have made him my lord and husband. So I must have the measure of the man before."

"So what must a man do? It seems like much work."

She smiled once again. "There is much work. There is also much fruit."

"So what must a man do?"

"The first thing is to-"

"Yes, I know. He must swear to the Landlord. But after?"

"He must return to me, and ask to see my mother's lord."

"And what would he say?"

"That depends on the man." At this parting comment, she turned and walked slowly back into the garden, pulling the gate closed behind her. I spurred my horse, which began to trot down the road. I did not know what to think, But I needed to find this Landlord.

SKYDIVING

WOW....that was the most exhilarating experience I have ever had.....I would so do it again and again!!!
There are not words to express what it's really like, you just have to experience it for yourself!!!!

CSC Pics

Skydiving

Thankfulness

Originally posted on MySpace 11/16/07

So I was sitting here thinking about Thanksgiving and about what I will say this year when asked the standard question during this time of year..."What are you Thankful for?" This is what I've come up with so far...

I'm thankful I live in a country that even though is far from its spiritual foundations is still one of the only countries where I am free and safe to Worship my Savior

I'm thankful I have wonderful parents who have sacrificed so many things throughout the years just to see me nurtured, healthy, and even a little spoiled.

I'm thankful I have family, even though I live so far away from most of them, they are always in my heart and mind and I cherish the memories that live within my heart. And I know that I could call any time and any one of them would be right there for me, and I hope they know I'd do the same.

I'm thankful for my brothers, who throughout the years have gone from being pesky little "brats" to my very best friends in the world. Boys, so many of my favorite and best times have been shared with ya'll and I wouldn't trade any of it for anything in the world. You both are treasures to me.

I'm thankful for my friends here in TN that have become my family. It's hard leaving all you know behind, but your friendships and love make it easier to be so far away. Thank you for the memories, the laughs, the tears, the smiles, the good times and even the bad. I wouldn't change a thing.

I'm thankful for my job, not for the money but for the opportunity to share one of the most amazing things in the world with perfect strangers. Its an amazing thing to witness the joy of birth and I am honored to have shared so many memories with people I'll never see again. Its a privilege to be trusted to help a women through the toughest journey she has ever embarked on.

I'm thankful for the things in my life that I once regretted. I've learned that although there may have been a better way to make it though, those experiences are apart of who I am. I've come to terms with the fact that fretting over them will not change them and nothing I can do will make it go away. I've realized that its best to learn, gain the wisdom available and move on, leaving everything else behind. Its a heavy load to carry the past around with you, its a lot better to just lay it down, repent and go on to better things.

I'm thankful for everyday that I get a chance to live once again. Some aren't granted another day, and I never want to take it for granted.

I'm thankful for my cousins and their fellow service men who have laid down their lives for our nations freedom. I know many have given their actual life's, I'm thankful that my cousins have simply given their service, but I take not for granted that at any moment that couldv'e changed.

I'm thankful that God chose to save me from myself. I was born hell-bound and deserved nothing less, yet even before I was born He chose to send His only Son to this sin-ridden, dead world and rescue us from ourselves. He had nothing to gain and no guarantee that we'd even respond, but HE took the chance and laid down His life, in hopes that His creation would take it as a gift of unadulterated, unfathomable, incomparable, unwarranted, unchangeable, never ending LOVE. I chose to take it and its the best thing I ever did. =)

So, thats some of what I'll say this year when I'm asked what I'm thankful for!!! (at least this year I won't go...mmmmm, well, lets see...IDK!haha)

I don't want to miss what He's saying...

Well, plans have changed, after all that, the hospital dropped my contract. Yeah, I know, crazy huh!?! Well, I'm not sure what all this means, but I do know that I am okay with it all. I was talking with my dear friend and she made me think about all this in a different light (which is one reason I love her so very much). She said Sarah look at it this way, maybe you did make the decision to travel as a way to escape, a way to get away, but now, seeing that you made the decision to lay in the bed you created so to say, you chose to go to hunstville, ready to work, the whole time keeping a good attitude and heart about the situation. You trusted God to make the best out of it, no matter whether you were there because He wanted you to be or because you made the decision on your own, you chose to learn from this experience, and move on. Now, after you have gone through all this to even get there, then to get there and to have the hospital drop the contract, maybe its grace that caused that to happen, maybe this has been a trial to test your character, and to me it seems you have passed the test, now I don't know what has been going on in your heart the past few days, but it seems to me that you have remained happy, and joyful during the entire adventure, it seems your heart has been in the right place, so as far as I can tell, you've passed. So, don't be so quick to say you missed God altogether, maybe you did, maybe you didn't, but look at it from this angle, maybe it was a trial, a test of your trust in God, a test of your ability to completely surrender your will, and desires, and to see your own decision through to the end no matter what. So, maybe you've done a wise thing, and good thing, don't be so quick to run out at try something else, take time to really pray, and seek out what you're supposed to do now, so next time you'll know, you'll know its God moving you and not yourself. Trust Him, you know how! So, with that all in mind, and my mind swirling with thoughts, possibilities, options, responsibilities, obligations, and countless other things, my life is once again where it was, at a cross roads, a fork in the road...more like an octopus... with decisions to be made and paths to be trod. I'm stunned at the mercy of God and am so glad it is Him in charge and not me for I would not be quite as patient as Him. So until the adventure begins again, or until some other revelation presents itself, I will say farewell. God bless and Love to you all.

Its Official

Well, its a week late, but I'm offical, I am offically going to Hunstville, AL to work as a travel agency nurse in a small hospital in Madison county. I start Tuesday night, I move into my apartment on Monday as soon as I get all the specs and things. WOW, what new adventures lay ahead for me. Some rather amazing things have taken place in my life since I decided to do this traveling thing, I'm so excited about these new adventures, I don't want to miss out on any part of any of them. Well, I had a revelation the last couple of days, and I've come to realise the importance of living for the moment, in that very day. I know the Word instructs us to not worry about tomorrow, for it has worries of its own, but how many of us really do that. I thought I was living for the moment, living each day...and you know what, that is the furthest thing from the truth that there is. I have no other way of explaining this except for that it seems now as I am looking back-hindsight always being 20/20- that I have been living each day according to its consequence for my future, meaning each day somehow related to where I thought I was supposed to be or where I was supposed to be going, and so instead of enjoying a day simply as a new day from My Saviour, it was another day that brought me closer to the end, closer to my future...or so I thought, becaused in all acutallity, I haven't been living at all, I've simply been exsisting, simply floating through daily routines not expecting or experiencing anything new. It wasn't until last night talking to a dear friend of mine that she said something that triggered this all in my mind....I have been in a desert place unlike any I have ever been in before....its like I simply just dissappeared from exsistance...I haven't been social or even really friendly for a very long time...and she said something to me that made me realise I had become a hermit, and it hit me all at once....I have, I have taken myself away from everything so as to not have to face the truth of what has been going on in the inside of me...the changes that God is trying to cause to be, the new me that HE is causing to awaken and arise within me....I'm not sure what all is going to happen, I'm not sure who I may be in the end, but I do know that with My Saviour in charge I have nothing to worry about. He will cause it to all unfold, and I am going to do my best to continue to daily live every day to its fullest....I don't want to ever just exsist again...I love living, I love life, I love My Jesus and I am so glad HE is ever patient and ever faithful. This last week and a half has been I think the best of my life so far, and yes something really awesome happened, but more importantly....I found me. I found the one who resides within the walls of this skin, I found the real me, the one I knew was missing, but had no idea where to find, the me that I have been hiding, the me I have been scared to be....simply just the woman of God has created, and knowing that, know that HE, the God of the universe, created me, and placed me here on this planet and this time, astounds me, and I so glad that now I can freely live, wholly and completely HIS, experiencing all that HE has instore for me....I am so ready for this newness....I am so excited that even that word seems pathetic to describe what I am feeling. So thank you my dear friend, and thank you Jesus, because without you, none of this would have ever happened. You are awesome, and I love you with all of my heart.

New Things Coming!!

Hey ya'll, this is the first of many posts I hope. I'm rather new at all this, but I am going to try my best to keep it updated with new things as I start on this new adventure. I am excited, a little nervous, but I know everything is going to be fine. :) If you want leave me comments, or pictures, or whatever you want! You can just email me, that would be fine too! extraordinarygrace@charter.net or nursemoseley@hotmail.com I check both. My myspace is http://www.myspace.com/extraordinarygrace I love you all and cherish my time with you!!